Papí's Home
by SizzlR
Summary: Bobby and Ronnie Annes life in the city gets a whole lot wilder when their deadbeat father shows up at the bodega, vowing to change his ways. Will he run out like old times, or is Papí here to stay?
1. Chapter 1

" _And then you took the words right out of my mouth,_

 _Oh, it must've been while you were kissing me,_

 _You took the words right out of my mouth,_

 _Oh and I swear it's true, I was just about to say that I love you…"_

" _And that was Meat Loaf with his 80's classic, 'Hot Summer Night!' I'm your host, Eddie Jones, coming to you live from Southside Chicago on a beautiful summer afternoon on 103.7, Eighties Evolution!"_

It was a typical lazy Saturday in the Casagrande Bodega. A small fan sat propped up in the doorway, cooling off the store and anyone smart enough to go in. An open bottle of Coca Cola sat on the top of the cash register, obviously to counter the sweltering heat. 90 degrees in Chicago, Illinois was hardly ever heard of, but it did happen on occasion; like, for example, today.

Roberto Santiago Jr sat behind the counter, reading a local newspaper. Nothing special today; the Cubs won a few games, the White Sox lost quite a lot of games, the mayor was promising to cut taxes again… the usual. You'd think that the city would be filled with excitement and adventure, but in all truthfulness? It was BORING.

A group of kids walked in, forcing Bobby to put the paper down. School had finally gotten out for the summer, both a good and a bad thing for the teen. On the one hand, it meant that kids would be coming in buying soda and candy more often, which would raise the Bodegas' profit. And believe him, the store needed it. Profit had been going down in the last few months, something neither he nor Grandpa Hector could explain. And that wasnt even the bad news…

The BAD news was that Bobby had -gulp- just graduated high school. Which meant that he was headed to Community College in three months… three very SHORT months. He would be lying if he said he wasn't scared; college was a whole different animal to tame than high school. Luckily, though, Lori would be coming to the city to join him. Thank goodness for that… he wasn't sure if he could survive a half week without her.

The kids had just come up to the register when the all too familiar sound of hissing cats came from the outside. Seconds later, a short black kid with a checkered hat ran in, breathing heavily as he held the door closed.

"Phew!" he gasped. "Cats almost got me again!"

"Huh! You think you would've learned your lesson last time, Casey…"

"Hey, don't remind me, Bobby. You really need to get a SPCA out here or something, those things are scaring people off!"

"Yeah, like we have that money to spare," he snorted. "We're barely staying open as is. We call an exterminator and we'll be paying the city until I'm retired!"

The other kids checked out and left the store, carefully watching where they were going until they reached the streets end. Bobby couldn't help but chuckle at the spectacle.

"Ha! Kids these days…"

"Yeah, speaking of kids, where's Ronnie Anne? She and Nikki are supposed to meet me here soon."

"Hmmm… Ronnie Anne's probably upstairs with grandma, and who knows about Nikki?"

He noticed a spot on the counter, and begrudgingly got out a washcloth from underneath.

"Well, while I'm waiting, I'll buy a Coke to keep you busy, how bout that?"

"Whatever floats your boat, Case…" he mumbled as the boy went to the cooler. This spot was going to be the death of him yet; it hadn't budged since he started scrubbing. The radio was playing "Beat It" by MJ now. He naturally turned the volume up.

Casey came back up to the counter, holding a glass bottle of Coke. Bobby rung him up, chatting as he did so.

"So Ronnie Anne told me your English teacher is pregnant, hm?"

"Oh, yeah! Rumor is it ain't even her husbands… I didn't tell you that, though. My guess is that drifter outside, Colin. He and her've been getting frisky…"

"Alright, I didn't ask for details. Here's your change."

Ronnie Anne came down the stairs a few minutes later, her skateboard safely tucked underneath her arm.

"Casey! We're meeting Nikki and Sameer at the Corndog Cart! Let's go!"

"Coming!" he said as she walked out the door. "Thanks for the Coke, Bobby!"

"No problem, dude!" He cried out as the two kids left. Bobby was left alone again, which was naturally boring.

" _And now we have an absolute classic, Billy Joel with his number one single, "We Didn't Start the Fire!" Only on Eighties Evolution!"_

The rock classic wafted through the store, between the aisles of produce and sweets. Speaking of produce, the mango guy hadn't come in for a few days now… should he be worried? The dude always had trouble with those damned cats outside… stupid things could go _chupa su pollo,_ if you knew what he meant…

The door bell rang again, and Grandpa Hector walked in, followed by the family baby, Carlitos.

"Ugh! Bobby, what have I told you about your music? Turn it down! It drives away customers!"

"Sorry, grandpa…" He mumbled, turning the dial. Carlitos mocked everything the two did with perfect technique. That kid was gonna be a class clown, Bobby knew it… he was always copying everyone and everything. Even Lalo wasn't safe from the baby's savage mockery.

"Dios mia, it's hot outside!" Hector said, rubbing sweat off his brow. "Have we had any buisness today?"

"Not much… a few people bought soda, but that's really it."

"Geez, we need to get some money flowing in here…" He mumbled, walking behind the counter. "We haven't been getting enough profit to keep us going much longer. I'd say we have 2 years left until we go under."

"Two years IS A long time, Grandpa," Bobby pointed out as he shifted money through the register. "It's probably just a lull. We'll be back on our feet during the winter."

"I hope so, Bobby… this Bodega is my livelihood. I can't risk losing it…"

The bell rang once more, and the mango guy FINALLY showed up for the first time in days.

"Heh, sorry I'm late, guys! I kind of lost the order slip and, uhh, just remembered…"

"Just put the mangos over there, Fred," Hector mumbled as he started reading the newspaper.

"Can do! Say, have you guys heard the news? The president is coming to visit in a few months! Ain't that exciting?"

"-pfft- Tell me something I don't know! All I can say is that if he wants to come into my store, he's got another thing coming."

"Yeah, I see where you're coming from… I gotta go. Downtown still needs their banana delivery! Adios, Hector!"

"Adios," he said as the mango guy left. "Geez, that man needs to learn when I'm not interested in talking."

"Well, to be fair, you DO like talking a lot…"

"Not true! I hardly ever talk to anyone unless they start the conversation!"

"Oh, that's a lie! You're the biggest gossip this side of the Mississippi River!"

The bickering continued for a solid five minutes, neither of the men stepping down. There was too much personal pride at stake to risk giving in.

"All I'm saying is that you talk a lot! Nothing wrong with that!"

"Well, I'M saying that I don't! Is there- wait. Where's Carlitos?"

Panic set in when the men realized the toddler wasn't following their every move. They immediately began searching for him, checking every logical place in the store.

"Oh, geez, this is NOT good…"

"Frida is going to KILL me! We lost her son!"

"I'm sorry, WE? I didn't bring him into the bodega! That's on you, grandpa!"

"Why, I never! That's absolutely not true! Why I'll have you know…"

The men were too engrossed in their arguments to realize the door bell had rung again. In fact, it wasn't until the patron spoke up that they realized.

"Excuse me, is this your kid?"

Bobby and Hector looked up to see a tall Hispanic man, about in his late thirties. He wore a pair of faded khaki shorts and a dirty white tank top, which highlighted the sleeves of tattoos on his arms. In his hands, he held Carlitos, who looked both happy to see his family and terrified of the stranger.

"Oh! Yes, it is!" Bobby said, reaching out to take the toddler. Hector, however, stood open mouthed. He couldn't belive what he was witnessing.

"What are you doing here?!"

"Huh?" the man said, looking confused. "Am I not allowed to be here, Hector?"

"No, no, you're allowed… it's just a little unexpected..." he said, putting his hand on Bobbys shoulder. "I haven't seen you in a while, Roberto."

"Same, Pops," he said, walking over to Bobby and lightly punching him on the shoulder. "I haven't seen THIS guy in a while, either!"

Bobby was confused by all of this. Who was this guy? How did he know his Grandpa? And why…

Wait a minute...

Realization set in, and he turned back to the tall man, who began to slowly look more familiar with each passing second. The man held out his arms and raised his eyebrows, as if he were expecting a hug.

"Well? Are you gonna leave me hanging, niño?"

Bobby couldn't speak. Emotion set in, and his eyes began to well with tears of happiness.

"Dad!"

He walked to him, and the two men hugged in the middle of the bodega. They stayed in their embrace for a few seconds, before breaking it off. Bobby looked up to his dad, rubbing his tears from his eyes.

"I haven't seen you since the divorce! Where have you been?!"

"Oh, exploring…" the man mused, running his fingers through his coarse black hair. "The past six years have been tough, but it's getting easier to manage. I went to Royal Woods first, but I saw you didn't live there anymore… so I came here."

"And I'm glad you did… I missed you, Dad."

"I missed you too, hijo…"

They hugged again, both happier to see each other than the other. It was an unexpected development to the day; after all, Bobbys dad was a… _touchy_ subject for his mother, and now he was here, in the middle of the store…

His mother!

"Uhh… I'm happy to see you and all, Dad, but does mom know you're here?"

Dread filled the elder Santiagos face. Apparently, he had completely forgotten as well.

"Oh, shit… I forgot about Maria. Is she upstairs?"

"She is," Hector interjected, pulling bottles of soda from the freezer. "Do you want a Coke, Roberto?"

"Yeah, sure…"

"Yeah, thanks Grandpa!"

"Wait, he was talking to ME, kid."

"What? No, my names Roberto…"

"So's mine, buddy… you're Bobby, I'm Roberto. At least that's how it was when you were six…"

"It still is," Hector said, placing two sodas in front of them. "Drink up. On the house."

"You didn't have to do that, Papí," Roberto said, taking a sip. "I read this place was hiring, by the way. You think I could get a job here?"

Hector stared at him as if he was a loon.

"Where did you hear that?"

"Uhh… that Italian guy outside told me. I don't know him, but he sure seems to know you…"

Bobby turned to the window, where Hector's friend Vito stood. He jovially waved at the three, oblivious to who the man really was.

"Well… we'll see. You have to earn my trust first. But while you're here, Roberto, I think Maria might want to see you."

"Oh! Right, Maria!" He said, grabbing his drink. "Bobby, you might have to go up and explain. Something tells me she isn't going to be happy about this…"

"No problem, Dad… let's go upstairs!"


	2. Chapter 2

"AHH! SANTO MIERTA, HOW LONG HAVE THESE CATS BEEN HERE?!" Roberto asked, slamming and barricading the bodega door with his body.

"Now why are you asking ME that?! They've been here since I was a kid! They've been here since YOU lived here!"

As it turned out, getting from the bodega door to the entrance to the apartment was no easy feat. And Bobby, Grandpa Hector, and Roberto were just realizing that those feral cats outside _might_ be a problem.

"Ok, we just have to distract them!" Bobby said, going towards the food aisle. "Abuelo taught me this when we first moved here!"

He reached out and grabbed the kryptonite of cats everywhere: a can of sardines. Bobby quickly popped it open and threw the contents as far as he could. They landed on the other side of the road, which distracted the cats just long enough…

"Go, go, go!" Hector said, frantically pushing the two men towards the apartment door. One press of the button and a forceful shove, the three were safe.

"Phew!" Roberto said, wiping sweat off his brow. "Those ain't the same gattos I remember!"

"Of course they aren't!" Hector scolded before softening up. "You're the only one that ever cared for them… that calico one had kittens after you and Maria moved."

"Uhh, I think you mean Quilton? And that's good. She was always my favorite…"

"Uhh, guys, I don't mean to interrupt, but I think that we should be focusing on my mother up there…"

Bobby nervously gestured to the door. Right behind it stood the Casagrande household, where chaos was the law and rules were merely suggestions. A man wouldn't survive long without a gameplan… especially if one of its residents wanted said man dead or alive.

"Alrighty, so what do we do?"

"Easy! We just go in there and explain. It's easy and will save us time!"

"Are you crazy, Hector?! Maria would crucify me! I say you and Bobby warm her up, and I miraculously drop in for an unplanned visit?"

"BOTH of your plans are flawed! We need to subtlety ask my mom about dad, and then bring him in! She'll understand!"

The three soon found themselves in a Mexican standoff, nobody wanting to give up ground. It would be either one plan or the other, no exceptions…

"What are you guys doing?"

All three turned their heads. In front of the door was a boy dressed in a yellow button up shirt and a bowtie.

"Oh! Uhh, hey, CJ!" Bobby said, walking towards his cousin. "Why are you out here?"

"I… saw you guys through the door. Who's that?"

"Oh, him?" Hector said, gesturing towards Roberto. "He's a… a family friend. Now go back inside for now, buddy…"

"Uhh… should I tell Mom or Aunt Maria-"

"NO!" All three shouted at once, startling the poor child. He ran back inside the door, leaving the three alone again.

"Uhh… who was that?"

"Oh, that's CJ. Carlos Jr, after his dad."

"Huh… what's wrong with him?"

Both Bobby and Hector glared at Roberto, who immediately changed his phrasing.

"Uhh… what does he have?"

"...Down Syndrome," Hector said coldly before turning back to focus. "Now, my plan is the best! We need the subtle approach!"

"No, Grandpa! We need my plan!"

"No, guys! Mine!"

"Why don't you play Rock Paper Scissors?"

"CJ?! What are you- go! Play pirates or something right now!"

"Ok!" the boy said as he walked through the door again. The three men were TRULY alone now.

"Uhh… you know, CJ had a good idea. We have these kinds of games for a reason…"

"-sigh- Wjatever… I just want to get this over with. Let's do it."

It took three rounds of intensity, but Roberto won with the deadly one rock-two scissor combo. The subtle approach it was.

"Alright, you two, I'm counting on you. I don't want to die today, so do good! Please!"

"We'll try… no promises!"

The two men opened the door and walked inside. The smell of cooking beef wafted through the house, and as usual, there was chaos in the main hallway.

"Hector?! I need you to try my quesadilas! Where IS he?!"

"Bobby?! I need your help! I have this Miami Vice outfit you'd look dashing in!"

" _Hola, Mi amor… Mi rosa en un arbusto de espinas…_ NO! Think, Carl! She'll NEVER be yours that way!

"Everyone! I just learned the most incredible fact about porpoises today! Did you know..."

"SQUAWK! HOLA, HECTOR!"

Sergios words caught the attention of all in the hallway, who turned to the door.

"Hector! There you are! Come, come, I need you to-"

"Uhh… actually, grandma, we're kind of busy right now. Where's my mom?"

"Hmm…" Rosa pondered, trying to remember. "I think she and Frida were in the living room. Why do you need her?"

"Uhh…"

"Oh, no reason," Hector said with a nervous smile. "We just have to talk to her."

"Oh. Well, OK then…"

She and the rest of the family left the hallway as Bobby and Hector went into the living room. Sure enough, Maria and Frida were on the couch, watching a soap opera.

"Uhh… hey mom?"

Maria turned her head, smiling warmly when she saw her son.

"Hey, Bobby. Hey, Dad."

Both men stood awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Truth be told, they could have thought out this plan before going in…

"Umm… Bobby was wondering-"

"Yeah, I was wondering…"

"A customer asked him about his… his family. Specifically, his, err…"

Maria, who had up till then been smiling, frowned. She knew what the conversation was about.

"Bobby, if you want to talk about your father, we can do it another time…"

"NO!" he shouted, causing both his mother and aunt to jump. Realizing that, he softened his tone.

"Err, I mean, why can't we talk about it now? I mean, we've never… you know, had a conversation about it. Since I was six, at least..."

Maria stood up, still stonefaced.

"One question. That's it."

Bobby grimaced. He knew his mother didn't like talking about his dad, but this? This was a whole different level of solidarity. One question?

"Hmm…" he pretended to think, sitting down. "I guess… what happened to him? After he left, I mean…"

Frida was motioning to Bobby to stop talking, but he ignored her. This was important;too important.

Maria sat down again, starting to recall her memories.

"I believe he went back here, to the city. That's the only place we had ever lived besides Royal Woods… I don't really know much after that."

"Alright, great!" Bobby said, clapping his hands once as he stood up. "Actually, if you could-"

"Bobby, I've given enough favors to you today," his mother said, turning the TV volume up. "I'm not going to-"

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH! POLILLAS! POLILLAS! AHHHHHHHHH!"

The front door to the apartment slammed open, causing the entire living room to stand up in shock. A ruckus was coming from the hallway, until…

"PHEW!" Roberto said, standing in the doorway of the living room. "You didn't tell me you had a moth problem, Hector! I've been… scared…"

Maria stood petrified by the couch, her mouth hanging open. Bobby and Hector chuckled nervously, knowing the plan had gone awry.

"Uhh… yeah, heh… surprise! He, kind of just popped in this morning…"

With those words, Marias face changed from the surprised look… to anger.

" _Roberto…"_

"Oh, uhh… Hey, Maria..." Roberto chuckled, trying to stand his tall frame straight in the doorway. "Uhh, how are things?"

She suddenly began to take large steps towards him, making his eyes grow wide. He had no time to react as Marias hand flew up, connecting her open knuckles with his left cheek. He staggered back along with Hector, Bobby and Frida, as if they had been slapped themselves.

Roberto stared wide eyed at Maria, almost petrified in a mixture of shock and terror.

"Well…" he said, rubbing his cheek. "I wasn't quite expecting THAT, but…"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Maria roared, causing everyone to step back a few more feet. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"

"MOM!" Bobby said, restraining his mother. Maria stared at Roberto like a wild dog to its prey, set on causing as much pain as humanly possible.

"Roberto, go into Carlotas room!" Hector said, taking control. "Bobby, get your mother on the couch!"

Both men complied. Bobby forced his mother to sit down on the couch, as Roberto tried in vain to find a bedroom to seek asylum.

The commotion had led the rest of the family out of their hiding, and they were now gathered in the living room… save Ronnie Anne, who was out skating with her friends.

"Maria?" Carlos said to his sister. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"We, uhh… had a run in with my dad…" Bobby saud, looking at the floor. Carlos mouth dropped open, almost in the same fashion as his sister.

"Roberto? He's here?!"

"Uhhh, Bobby, Hector? I can't find any bedroom here…"

"JUST GO INTO THE CLOSET, ROBERTO!"

"Oh, alright! Hey… this IS a bedroom! Neat!"

Maria sat on the couch, not moving whatsoever. She blinked occasionally, trying to process the past few moments. The family was in even more chaos than usual

"Oh, boy…" Bobby said to no one in particular. "Alright, Carl, CJ, make sure he doesn't leave Ronnie Annes room, got it? Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Frida and Uncle Carlos, you stay here. I'll go call Ronnie Anne…"

"NO!" Maria shouted at her son, who stepped back. She sat back down, her face red and puffy. Carlos nodded at Bobby, giving him the OK to call.

He walked out of the room and got his phone out, dialing his sisters number. After a few seconds, she answered.

"Hey, Bobby. What's up?"

"Ronnie Anne, you need to come home now. There's something going on."

A slight pause, then an answer.

"What? What's going on?"

"Uhh… I think it's better if you come home. Mom is…"

"What? What happened to mom?! Is she okay?"

"She's fine…" he said, looking into the living room. "WILL be fine. You need to get here."

"I'll be right home. Just, give me a minute, alright? I have to-"

"Niní, we don't have a minute. You need to come home. NOW."

There wad an uncomfortable pause. Bobby wasn't sure if she had hung up or not… it wasn't looking-

"I'll be right there."

The phone clicked. Bobby shoved his phone back into his pocket, rubbing his head. He had been getting a headache from all of this…

But now was no time to rest. He had to change the gameplan… explain to Ronnie Anne what was going on… and how, if possible, they would fix it...


	3. Chapter 3

The world was melting at the Casagrande Bodega, in more ways than one. Maria was an emotional wreck, Frida and Carlos were vainly trying to calm her down, the kids were nowhere to be found… not to mention the upstairs air conditioner had broken earlier that week… 103 DEGREES and no cold air in sight! It bothered most everyone…

Except Roberto. He sat on the purple blanket that was draped over whoevers bed, eating one of those DELICIOUS orange popsicles from the mini fridge. DAMN, those things were good… he was gonna have to buy some for himself. It was almost enough to get that stinging out of his cheek, too; Maria had slapped hard, but his toughness was more than she could handle.

He took the opportunity to look around the room, admiring the pictures. Bobby was in most all of them… the Casagrandes were there, as well. There was another girl, though… must be one of Rosas nieces. She always did like the color purple… that explained all the hoodies on the wall, at least.

"Roberto?"

"AH!" He shouted, jumping up. He hit his head hard on a shelf above him, knocking down a… a skateboard? Since when did anyone in this house skate?

"Yeah? What do you want?"

"Uhh… Maria wants to talk to you. Alone."

"Alone?" he asked, confused. "I'm not sure about that, Carlos…"

"Don't worry. We'll be outside the door for backup. For BOTH of you. Now come on!"

Before he could protest, Roberto was grabbed and practically thrown into the lions den that was the living room. And, conveniently enough, the head of the pride was sitting on the couch, not at all pleased.

"Roberto."

"Maria."

There was an uneasy silence as Roberto stood up, dusting himself off and rubbing his shoulder nervously.

"So… uhh, how are things?"

"Good."

"That's good, that's good…"

He sat down on the chair opposite of his ex wife.

"So lets cut to the chase. I know you're probably wondering why I'm here-"

"You think?" she said, standing up. "You come barging in for no reason and expect me to know exactly why?"

"No, no!" he said, waving his hands in protest. "I'm sure you have questions, but I-"

"Oh, yeah, I have questions! What are you doing here?! What happened to you?"

"Uhh… I got fired from my job, and, uhh…"

"-pfft- Typical. You could barely hold down a lawn mowing gig if you tried…"

"Now listen! My boss was a total jerk! You expect me to-"

"I EXPECT you to be able to take responsibility, Roberto!" she said, standing up. "In the 30 years I've known you, you have never EVER taken an-"

"Now that's just a lie, Maria!" he said, slightly louder. "I try to do everything I can to keep a job! It just-"

"That! Right there! You tried to blame someone else! Just admit it, Bobby! YOU'RE A TERRIBLE WORKER!"

"I haven't done anything wrong! So STOP YELLING!"

They sat back down, both less happy then they were when they started the conversation. At last, Maria took a breath.

"Look, Roberto. I just want to know why you're here."

He stared at the ground, conflicted on whether to be a man or himself.

"I got fired…"

"And?"

"And… I wanted to see Bobby again, and…"

"Roberto...

"AND I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT! There! Are you happy now?!"

A smile crawled across Marias face as Roberto put his head in his hands.

"Very."

"-sniff- Well, there. You got your answer. I have about two hundred dollars to my name. I have no job, I can barely afford a motel room, and I still have child support to pay… I can't do it anymore, Maria. I'm lost…"

Tears flowed from his eyes. Without knowing what she was doing, Maria put her hand on his shoulder.

"Roberto, you know I have nothing to give you…"

"But who else do I go to? My dad is dead, mí madre lives in Chihuahua… You're the only person left. You and Bobby…"

"And Ronalda. Don't forget her."

"...Who?"

He looked up, bewildered. Maria looked at him also, first confused, then shocked.

"Oh, wow… I never told you, did I?"

"No…" he said, standing up. "Do you mean I have… a daughter?"

"-sigh- Yes, Roberto, you do…"

Everything else Maria said began to fade into the back of his head. He… he had ANOTHER kid. A daughter. THAT probably explained all the child support money he was paying to his ex…

"When?" he asked with a joyful smile. "What was her name again? Are you sure she's-"

"She's yours, Roberto. I learned after you left… I just never told you, I guess."

He sat down, shocked. He had a girl… he was a father to wonderful boy and a (hopefully) beautiful girl. The thought of everything he could have had with them… it brought both tears of happiness and sadness to his eyes.

"I want to meet her. Where is she?"

"Now, hold on a minute, Roberto…"

He stood up, feeling more confident than ever. The news had revitalized him; he got down on his knee, not to propose marriage, but forgiveness.

"Maria, listen to me. I know I've made mistakes. I know what I did. I left you, and Bobby, a-and Ronalda… and I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I can't live without any of you in my life anymore, and my own STUPID self stopped me from asking sooner. So, Maria, I'm not asking you to marry me again. I won't ask for a free place to stay. All I want is for you to forgive me."

She looked at him, conflicted.

"Please?"

He smiled… and she smiled back.

"Oh, Bobby… this is why I fell in love with you once…"

They hugged. Roberto Santiago Sr was officially forgived.

"So you never DID tell me if you plan on staying here or not…"

"Oh, in the city. I can get jobs for a little bit, and I rented a motel room across the neighborhood. I don't want to interrupt this, Maria. You deserve better than that from me…"

"You know, Roberto, I feel that you owe your son an apology. AND an explanation."

He stopped. She DID have a point… he had left when Bobby was 6 or 7, at least.

"I… guess I never DID say goodbye, did I?"

"Or tell him why, don't forget that."

"Yeah… yeah, I should tell him. AND Ronalda. I need both of them here! To listen to me!"

All of a sudden, Bobby burst into the room, wielding a… spoon?

"Alright, I heard my mom scream! I had to get a spoon because we safety proofed the kitchen for Carlitos, but LEAVE HER ALONE, ROBERTO!"

It took a solid 5 minutes for Maria to calm the angry Bobby down, and another 10 to restore order to the house. She gathered the family in the living room, standing next to Roberto as her brother looked at her uncomfortably. She took a deep breath, and began.

"Alright, everyone… you know by now this is Roberto. He's… Bobby and Ronnie Annes dad. And he's NOT staying with us, he HAS an apartment downtown, so DON'T try and make him feel at home, Dad..."

"What?! I just put in the pollo to roast!"

"Well, take it out. He isn't staying here. BUT, while he's here, he DOES want to ask you something…"

She nudged him, and Roberto nervously walked forward, robbing his upper arm.

"So… Hector. You know I worked in the Bodega when I was a kid, right?"

"That's right. Now I see why Bobby locks himself in the freezer all the time…"

"Uhh, ahem… °anyways, I _kind of_ might need a job somewhere- OW! Maria! Ok, ok, I need a job and was wondering if you would… rehire me?"

Hector stood up after a few tense seconds, putting his arm on Roberto shoulder.

"Roberto, you have a job. You start next Monday."

"YES!" he whispered under his breath, pumping his fist. Back on track!

"So…" Carl Jr said from the couch. "Since Aunt Maria and Roberto were married, does that make him our… UNCLE?"

"Well… I, I suppose so…"

"YAAY! UNCLE ROBBY!" CJ said, running over for an emergency hug. Roberto, at first startled, wrapped his arms around the boy, then let go as he walked back to his seat.

"Well, then… that's that. Now, everyone back to their lives! Roberto is leaving right-"

 **WHAM!**

The door to the apartment swung open, revealing a sweaty, exhausted Ronnie Anne. She ran into the living room, only to see everyone relaxed.

" _huff, huff…_ What's wrong? Bobby, why do you need me?"

The family nodded to themselves, and the Casagrandes quickly exited the room. Only Maria, Bobby, Roberto, and Ronnie Anne were left.

"Uhh, hey Niní. We want you to meet somebody."

She turned around to see a tall man standing in the corner, trying not to make direct eye contact.

"Who's that?"

At last, Roberto looked at his daughter, smiling. She was beautiful… everything he had ever wanted his daughter to be.

"Hola, Ronalda…"

"Mom...Bobby…" she said, stepping back until she reached her mother's arms.

"Don't worry, honey… Roberto, this is Ronnie Anne. Honey, that's Roberto. He... has to tell you something."

He walked over, kneeling down to match his daughters height. He smiled, not fakely, but genuine.

"Ronnie Anne, you've never met me before, but… I'm… I'm your dad."

She stepped back, shocked. She peered into his face, trying her best to tell if he was lying… he wasn't. Her mouth dropped in shock as she whispered to herself.

" _Santo Mierta…"_

"RONALDA!" Maria yelled, but to her great surprise… Roberto LAUGHED.

"HA! That's my girl! Ha ha!"

He held out his arms, and Ronnie Anne ran into them. They hugged for what seemed like days, weeks, even years… it felt like it could never end.

"I'm back, Niní… Papí's home."

"You're… actually my dad," she said. "I'm alive because of you."

"Yep," he said, smiling. "You're here cause me and your mother-"

"LOVED each other very much," Maria said, darting her eyes towards her ex, who shrugged.

"Maria… we have to explain ourselves now, don't we?"

"Oh, right! Sit down, you two. Me and Roberto want to tell you something… something we've never told you before."


	4. Chapter 4

Both Bobby and Ronnie Anne had no idea what to expect when they sat opposite of their mother and Roberto. They both had somber expressions on their faces, and Robertos eyes darted around nervously.

After a few awkward seconds, Maria broke the silence with a cough, then began to talk.

"Kids… this IS your father. He isn't acting. I want you to both know that this man? This is your real father. Got it?"

They both nodded. Maria continued.

"Well, then, me and Roberto both decided that it's time to tell you two some things we've never told you before-"

"Like how we met, where we got married, where you were concieved… oh, not that? Alright, then…"

"ANYWAYS…" Maria said, glaring at her former husband. "Roberto basically already said it. Minus the birth part, of course."

"I, for one, think it's valuable information…"

"We aren't talking about it, Roberto, end of story. Are you kids ready?"

"Yep…"

"I guess so."

Maria took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she did. Bobby and Ronnie Anne glanced at each other with a mix of dread and curiosity. Roberto sat on the couch, picking at a scab on his finger.

"It all started, what was it… twenty years ago? 1998?"

"I think so…" Roberto replied, still not completely focused. "It was the night of my big Lucha Libre match…"

Ronnie Annes ears perked up at the mention of professional wrestling, and she gave a toothy grin.

"Lucha Libre? YOU were a wrestler, dad?"

"Well… technically, yes, but it isn't all THAT simple…"

 **Twenty Years Earlier…**

" _I was just out of school at that point. I was 18 and living in Mexico with me padres, and the world was my oyster! I had always been athletic in school, so I decided to give sports a try…"_

In the middle of a large auditorium sat a square wrestling ring, a large crowd gathered around it. A tall and handsome man stood in the center of the ring, wearing a fancy tuxedo.

"WELCOME, everyone, to SUPER LUCHA LIBRE 68! We have a stacked lineup tonight, so I sincerely hope you're all ready to witness greatness! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

" _Yeah, that was Pablo… he was the best announcer in the buisness. He could sell anyone to those crowds, from what I heard. Even ME..._

"Y ahora, al ingresar al ring desde la ciudad de Chihuahua, con un peso de 134 libras y una estatura de 5' 7", a local competitor, ¡EEEEEEEEELLLL JEEEEEEFEEEEE!"

" _Yep, that was my name. "The Boss!" Cool, huh?"_

A short and wirey young man came out from the backstage area, waving to the crowd with a massive grin. A chorus of boos shot up immediately; the crowd didn't pay to watch local talent.

" _I had everything already figured out by then! I had the bright blue leggings, the cape, the silver glittery mask to finish it off! I was ready to take on the world!"_

"AND NOW! Entering the ring, from Ciudad de Mexico, weighing in at over 300 pounds, standing 7 FEET TALL, RAMOOOOOOOONE THE RAVISHEEEEEEERRR!"

" _Exxxxcept for that. Ramon the Ravisher was probably the best Lucha stsr in the company at that point, maybe even the WORLD. He hadn't lost a match up until then…"_

" _And you beat him into submission! Right?"_

" _Ha! Yeah, no… it wasn't pleasant, to say the least…"_

"HA! THIS is the best you could give me, Pablo?! I like me carne a little cooked, if you know what I mean!"

"Hey, listen!" El Jefe said from his corner of the ring. "You're going down, Ramon! You're underestimating me!"

The crowd roared in approval for Ramon. He answered their cries with a wave of his hand, which sent them into a frenzy.

While El Jefe pounced up and down in the corner, Ramon looked on in amusement at the kid. Pablo stepped up to the microphone as Jefe cracked his knuckles together.

"Oh, my! We have shocking developments from backstage, fans!"

Both men stopped what they were doing. This wasn't part of the nights script… whatever it was, it had to be the real deal.

"I've just received word from backstage that EL JEFE was caught calling Ramons wife, and I quote, 'a wretched old hag!' Shocking! Anyway, let the match begin! Ring the bell!"

" _Now, me being the decent man that I was, I never said anything remotely like that to ANYBODY…"_

" _Not the story you told me…"_

" _Maria! Anyways, I tried to talk my way out of it…"_

"Wait, what?"

Ramons eyes slanted, and El Jefe swore he saw steam come from his ears. He slowly walked over to the local competitor, stomping with every step.

"Wait, WAIT! I-I-I never said that! It's a lie!"

Ramon either didn't hear or didn't care. He lowered his head, his teeth gritted.

"Hey, buddy, can't we just talk this out?! I'm pretty sure this is all just a big misundAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Ramon, with an unearthly scream, started to sprint at Jefe. He had no time to react as he was flattened by the behemoth, taking his breath away. The crowd roared; they loved the scene of carnage beginning to spill out of the ring.

"Oooohhh… I think you broke something…"

Ramon grabbed his opponent and began landing punches onto the defenseless kid. He pitifully tried to punch him back, only reinforcing his anger.

"YOU CALLED MY WIFE UGLY!"

"N-NO, I DIDN'T! PLEASE!"

Ramon picked him up with ease and tossed him across the ring, sending him face first into a turnbuckle. He staggered around, only to fall victim to a clothesline.

" _By this point, I had had enough with this match. So, naturally, I tried to fight back…"_

He suddenly got to his feet, and mustering all the strength he had left, he ran, bounced off the rope, and delivered a semi-decent hurricarana.

El Jefe fell to the ground, too weak to get back up. Ramon, however, immediately recovered and stared at the teen with pure hatred.

"I was going to stop, Jefe… now? YOU DIE."

Ramon crawled over the ropes and leaped the short distance to the floor. El Jefe could only lay in fear as his opponent pulled a table out… and another...

From under each side of the ring, he grabbed the weapons and set them up at the entrance ramp, two on top of the other two. He leaped back into the ring, an evil grin on his face.

"Ramon, please, please, please-"

"TOO LATE! THIS IS FOR ROSALINA!"

He picked him up by the throat and put him crotch first on his shoulders. El Jefe panicked; he was about to go through the tables.

"Wait wait wait WAAAAIT!"

Ramon launched him down with as much force as possible. The tables collapsed under the pressure, and Jefe landed in a heap at the bottom. He coughed up a bit of blood before finally saying a word:

"Ouch…"

 **Present...**

"Four broken ribs, a fractured tailbone, SEVEN missing teeth, a concussion, plates inserted into my spine… I was in the hospital for a solid MONTH before I even got out of BED."

"Jesus…" Bobby said under his breath. "How are you still alive?!"

"Don't ask me! Ramon didn't even get punished for it. I vowed never to go back to it again… and you see why! NEVER wrestle, kids! YOU. WILL. DIE."

Ronnie Anne, while disappointed, spoke up next.

"Uhhh… that was cool and all, but how does that relate to you two meeting?"

Maria and Roberto looked at each other… and laughed.

"Oh, that's funny…" Maria chortled. "I was your father's nurse after Ramon tried to murder him…

 **Back Again…**

El Jefe sat in his full body cast, not even paying attention to the nurse that had walked in to his room. He stared straight ahead as a bowl of soup was placed in front of him, the nurse stirring it for him.

"You don't look good."

"-pfft- You think?"

He moved his eyes over to his left. A short, attractive nurse was looking at him with a bemused smile.

"What did you DO to yourself? Wait, let me guess: motorcycle accident?"

"Ha!" he laughed, looking at his soup. "Lucha Libre. Even worse."

"Ouch… you don't look like a wrestler."

"Yeah, that's what me madre said, too… this is what I get for not listening to my elders."

To his surprise, she laughed at the joke. She walked over and sat at his bedside, a spoon in her hand.

"Well, Mr Macho, I think it's your dinner time. We have steak and potatoes, but since you cant eat solids for the next three weeks, we have soup for you."

"Yay, more soup…" he said as she raised the spoon to his mouth. "It better be chicken noodle…"

"mmmm, nope, just french onion broth. Can't really be too picky, can you?"

"Whatever… what's your name?"

She looked up at him, surprised.

"Why do you want to know that?"

"Well… I mean, you're kind of the only person I've talked to since I got here… I figured I'd make a few friends before going home."

"Well, in that case... Maria Casagrande. And you are…"

"Roberto Alejandro Martinez-Milan Luis Santiago, at your service. Most people call me Bobby, though…"

"Yeeeah, I think we'll stick with that one…"

 **Present Day Again…**

"So, we got to know each other in the dinner sessions of the day. Your mother was studying nursing abroad from Royal Woods Community College, and we kind of just hit it off after that…"

"And about six months later, I was pregnant."

"Yep… we were married soon after that. I fully recovered and gained a few inches, obviously, and the rest is history."

"Bobby, you were born here, in Chicago. Your father named you… I wanted you to be Hector II."

"Hector the Second… no one used those back then!"

"Well, better than giving him five middle names!"

"At least I wanted to-"

"Guys, GUYS!" Ronnie Anne interjected. "What about me?"

"Oh... " Roberto said, becoming silent. "Well, you, Ronalda, were… a surprise, to say the least. Maria…"

"Well, you were born after me and your father divorced. He's never seen you before, honey."

"Geez, way to be subtle…" he mumbled as Ronnie Anne looked at him in anger.

"Uhh…" Bobby interrupted. "Why DID you two divorce? Not trying to be picky or anything, but…"

The two parents looked at each other, before looking back.

"Tell them, Roberto."

"Maria, I-"

"TELL THEM."

He sighed, and, his voice shaking, admitted the reason.

"Well… me and your mom were together for 7 years at that point. But after Bobbys sixth birthday, I think it was… I realized that-"

"Hold on, this is a direct quote…"

"Maria! Anyways… I realized that I was a LOSER."

Both of his kids looked at him as if he had told them he killed Santa Clause. He cleared his throat once, looking around anxiously.

"Well, let me explain. I had nothing going for me. After the Lucha Libre incident, I realized I never went to college. I had no job, no formal secondary education, is that how to say it? I couldn't keep any jobs that I had down for long, and… I got depressed. It was like a… what are those things…"

"A midlife crisis?"

"YES!" He said, clapping his hands together and pointing at Bobby. "I had a midlife crisis at 25!"

"Dad, that's probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard…"

"But listen! I loved both your mother and you, Bobby… and Ronalda. But I was wasting my life with you guys. I saw after the wrestling match that… well, life is SHORT. The doctor said I was lucky to be alive… and there I was, barely collecting paychecks to keep my family going. I wanted to see the world! Experience everything I wanted to do before I inevitably left! Did, did I use that word right? Yeah? Alright… so I left."

"So…" Ronnie Anne said, standing up. "You left us because you wanted to be a WORLD TRAVELER?!"

"Well… sort of, yeah- OW! NOT YOU, TOO!"

"YOU BASTARD!" Ronnie Anne shouted as Bobby held her back, her hand still red from the slap. Luckily, this one didn't hurt as much.

"RONALDA!"

"No, no, it's fine… I understand. I was greedy, you guys. I was selfish. I didn't see it back then, though…"

"Yeah, you think?"

"Maria… anyways, I told your mother, and she was mad, but I didn't know why. I always said I'd come back and help eventually, but she didn't like that. So, we divorced, and I left everything except my car to your mother. And then I came back here. I saw everything I wanted to see. And you know what I think?"

He stood up, empowered by his words of inspiration.

"It's mediocre! Sure, Las Vegas was nice, and Brazil was beautiful… but now I want to see another side of life again! I want to see the family side of it again! I want to be a father again!"

Both Bobby and Ronnie Anne sat stone faced. Roberto turned to them, getting down on one knee.

"Listen, guys… I know I left. And I'm sorry. I'm not asking your mother to marry me again, if you're wondering that… our love isn't there anymore. AND I don't plan on living with you guys here. I have an apartment across the city. All I want, all I'm asking is this… can I be your dad again?"

They looked at him, conflicting personalities on their faces. Ronnie Anne was stone faced still, while Bobbys eyes were raised and his lip quivered.

"... I don't see why not."

"Yes, Dad. I forgive you."

They didn't see, but out of the corner of his eyes, a tear fell from Roberto Santiagos face. He stood up, and with his lip shaking, opened his arms for a hug. Ronnie Anne slowly embraced him, while Bobby latched on and hardly let go in the end. Roberto looked over to Maria, who was still on the couch.

"Maria? They're your kids too, you know…"

She comtemplated it for a minute before getting up and wrapping her hands around Bobby and Ronnie Anne. They stayed that way for what seemed like an eternity…

Finally united again. Finally a family again.

 **Before we go any further, I want to shout out CrazyManCody895 for giving me the idea for this backstory. He was the one that came up with the El Jeff name in his fanfic, "Baby Daddy Bobby," which is really good! I recommend it to everyone! Hopefully, the Roberto in THIS version doesn't end up like he does in that story, but hey! You never know! This is not the end of the Santiago family by any means! Stayed tuned throughot the summer!**


	5. Chapter 5

" _Harry Truman, Doris Day,_

 _Red China, Johnny Ray,_

 _South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe Dimaggio,_

 _Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon,_

 _Studebaker, Television,_

 _North Korea, South Korea,_

 _Marilyn Monroe!"_

Eighties Evolution blared from the radio on the counter as Bobby tried in vain to get the spot off the table. And when he said 'the spot',he meant "THE" spot. That damn thing had been there since he arrived, and it wouldn't budge. It drove him NUTS trying to get rid of it… and it was showing. He had locked himself in the dairy cooler four times already that day: a new record.

At least the music helped a little. Billy Joel was one of those sponge singers, as he liked to call them. There was a rougher, depressing side to his music, and then there were the pop tunes and sing alongs. This one, for instance, was cool: it was like a history lesson in 3 minutes. The abrasive guitar riff (did he use that word right?) helped him get into a scrubbing rythm, although it did very little to help.

The door bell rang, and Bobby didn't even need to look up to know who it was. Vito always came in at the same time every morning, so it was easy to recognize him.

"Hello, Bobby!" he said cheerfully, walking up to the counter. "You haven't seen your grandpa around, have you?"

"Sorry, Vito, I haven't…" he said, not looking up from the spot. "I think he was upstairs a few minutes ago. Do you mind waiting?"

"Oh, not at all! I got a new scoop on old lady Agatha last night I've been DYING to tell him! Did you know that she-"

The door to the bodega flew open, knocking the doorbell off. Roberto stood in the door, breathing heavily.

"BOBBY! -gasp- I-Im here on -gasp- time! I made it! -wheeze-"

"Dad?" Bobby asked, walking over to his father. "What are you doing?"

Roberto looked up, raising his eyebrows.

"Uhh… Hector said I had to be here today to start my job. 10:30, right?"

Ooooohhh… now that he mentioned it, Bobby remembered. He wasn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer when it came to memory. It had been a full week since his father re-entered his life, and it had been relatively calm. They had gone to the park a few times, eaten at some street carts along the way… Roberto had told him all about his world travels. He particularly liked the one about him being attacked by a moose in Canada, but there were other classics, too.

"Uhh, yeah, you're on time. Why don't you go upstairs and get Grandpa?"

He nodded and began to head out the door, picking up the bell and placing it on its hook again.

"Oh, and tell him Vito needs to tell him something!" Vito yelled as he turned the corner. He focused back in on Bobby, now having another conversation piece.

"So, that's your papí, huh?"

"Yep," he replied, nodding his head. "He's been… _interesting,_ to say the least."

"Oh, I can imagine. My dad was the same way; one minute he'd be telling someone about his soda cap collection, next thing you know, BAM! Yelling his head off!"

He snapped his fingers to represent the yelling, and the comment made Bobby chuckle.

"Yeah, he's a good guy… I sure did miss him. -sigh- You know, Vito, I've seen a lot of stuff like this on TV where the dad leaves in the end, but I don't think this is like that. I think he actually wants to be a father again."

"Ehh, you can't be so certain, _Nino_. This stuff takes time to figure out. Has he been doing stuff with you?"

"Oh, yeah! We went down to Hanks Original the other day and had corn dogs," he said, walking in front of the counter to grab a broom. "He told me about how he went all around the world! Did you know he met the Queen?"

"...Really?!"

"Well, of the New Orleans Mardi Gras festival, but hey! You can't be too picky!"

Vito gave a hearty laugh, which made Bobby smile. Getting Vito to genuinely laugh was like a video game sidequest; it wasn't a piece of cake. Hector did it all the time, but with most people it was a fake chuckle.

"And that sister of yours, have they been hanging out?"

"Well…" he said, trailing off. Roberto and Ronnie Anne were… well, they weren't exactly getting off on the right foot to start. They had hung out once, and from what she had told him, it didn't go well. AT ALL.

"It's been alright," he said, giving a little white lie. "I think that he's just kinda worried about getting to know her, you know? I mean, they've never met before a week ago…"

"True, true… I wish I could relate to that, but I really can't. My dad was there for me and my brother until he died… he was a good man. Cold at times, but had a heart of gold…"

The door swung open, and Roberto and Hector walked in. Vito snapped out of his reminiscing, shaking his head.

"Hector! Just the man I've been needing to see!"

He walked over to Hector, who became distracted.

"Vito! I've GOT to tell you what Rosa said yesterday! Oh, Bobby, show your father the ropes, would you? I have to go sign off with the mango guy in a minute."

"No problem, Grampa!" he said, turning to his dad. Roberto was now wearing a green apron, contrasting over his dirty khakis and shirt.

"Yeah, uhh, sorry I was up there so long. Me and your sister got a little sidetracked…"

"No problem. Uh, Dad, I don't mean to be rude, but don't you own any other clothes?

"Hmm… yeah, I do, but they're not exactly good looking on me. It's hard to find clothes that fit well, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it…" he said, eying him suspiciously. "So, why don't we start with the cash register?"

 **The Casagrande Apartment…**

 _Kick! Kick! Roundhouse! Punch! FINISH HIM!"_

Ronnie Anne Santiago sat in her small closet-turned-bedroom doing what she normally did during the summer: playing video games. This one was one of her favorites: _Normal Combat._ There really was nothing normal about it, however - she was playing as Morty the Talking Fish Head in the underground city of Diamopolis. Oh, and did she mention she was fighting George Washington?

Yeah, it was pretty much an acid trip from start to finish… but hey, if it passed time, did it really matter? After all, she had nothing better to do. She COULD be trying on clothes with Carlota, or be a prate with C.J, OR, worst of all, be helping Carl with his pick up lines. _Blech…_ and she thought Bobby and his girlfriend, Lori, were disgusting.

She heard footsteps in the hallway and paused her game. Someone had walked up the front staircase, and her aunt, who was out with her mother clothes shopping, had left her with clear instructions to monitor the hall. Granted, this would be the first time she did today, but video games trumped all other concerns.

She peeked her head out to find… oh, no. _Him_ again.

Roberto stood in the hallway, timidly holding his hands together. A green apron covered his not so white shirt and brown cargo shorts, and his hair was curled into small dreadlocks. He saw Ronnie Anne, and before she could duck back into her room, he had made his way over.

"Hola, Ronalda… is Hector-"

"Yeah. In the back room."

"Oh," he said dumbly. "Uhh, thanks…"

He walked into the living room, and Ronnie Anne fell back on her bed. That guy was EVERYWHERE nowadays… one moment she could be minding her own buisness, and BAM! Roberto would be there out of nowhere. It wasn't just weird, it was kinda getting creepy at this point.

Yeah, she knew that he was her… - _gulp- DAD,_ but that didn't really affect how she saw him. He was the definition of a deadbeat if she had ever seen one; scrawny, rat like, and overall… a LOSER. He was just so… so awkward around her. And she didn't like that one bit.

Don't get him wrong, he had been at least trying his best. He showed up about three days ago and asked her if she wanted to go get ice cream downtown by his apartment. She WAS gonna say no, but a quick glance from her mother convinced her to go. It was actually pretty fun at first - they had gone across the city on the subway, which she barely ever used. The ice cream wasn't half bad, either… the conversation, though…

 **Three Days Ago…**

"So…" Roberto said as his daughter ate her orange sherbert. "What's something that I should know about you?"

She looked up with raised eyebrows.

"What?"

"You know, like, something that could help me get to know you better, you know? Like, a fun fact?"

"Uhh… well, I like to skateboard, I guess…"

It was his turn to look at her confused.

"Huh. Skateboarding, you said?"

"Yeah," she said with a scoop of her sherbert in her mouth. "I like to skateboard. So what?"

"Norhing, nothing! It's just, like, I've never really seen… you know, a girl be interested in that sort of thing…"

She looked at him, her eyes now slanted instead of open.

"What's THAT supposed to mean?"

"Nothing! Don't get me wrong, I mean, I think that's cool! Just that for me, at least, the girls I've known haven't been interested in-"

"Wait, wait, wait. So you're telling me you've never seen a girl who likes doing fun things?"

Roberto visibly gulped. This was _not_ going the way he had hoped.

"Well, I don't know your definition of fun, that's the thing. You have to understand, I came from a family where women cooked and cleaned. And when I've been around the world, the men usually do all of the activity. Do you get that?"

"I guess so… but why? I mean, were the girls you knew happy with that?"

"Well, from what I knew…" he explained, biting a piece of his cone off. "Like a lot of other guys, I didn't really care about girls. We lived for ourselves, not for others."

Even after his explanation, Ronnie Anne didn't let her eyes off of him.

"Well, do you still feel that way?"

"...What?"

"You know, do you still feel like making yourself happy? Instead of others?"

"Uhh… that's not easy to-"

"Or do you still feel the same way? I mean, judging from you going off and leaving us, I don't think so…"

"Now hold on a minute-"

"What WERE you thinking, exactly? Did you not care about my mother enough to stay and raise your own KID? Who does that?"

"Listen, Ronalda…" Roberto said with slanted eyes.

"No, YOU listen! I don't know who you are, Roberto! I don't know you and I don't WANT to! You think you can just come back and get me to like you?"

"No! W-what do you think I'm doing here, trying to be nice to you?!" he said, standing up. His eyes were now raised, looking at her with shock.

"I don't know, trying to BUY my love with ice cream?!"

"Seriously?! Are you kidding?"

"No, I'm not!" she said, standing up and walking over to him. She pointed her index finger and stuck it into her father's stomach, which made him look down in shock.

"Roberto Santiago, you may be my father, but you are no dad of mine! A real dad wouldn't have left his family because of some stupid midlife crisis he was having! How do I know you aren't gonna leave again, anyway?! I don't NEED you to know me, and I don't WANT you to know me! So don't even bother!"

She walked away, leaving Roberto standing shocked at his table. A few people were staring at the spectacle, but they pretended to not notice when he began to look around.

 **Present Day...**

Roberto wasn't mad at all afterwards, she had learned. Her mother had called him after she got home and made her apologize to him, which she did… with crossed fingers. He said a whole lot of junk about understanding and other bull… she didn't buy it. And she probably never would…

Well, speak of the devil himself. Roberto peeked his head into the room, staring at the TV screen. Ronnie Anne looked over at him, her eyes narrowing again.

"What?"

"...Is that… Normal Combat?"

She raised her eyebrows. She looked at the screen as if to know herself, even though she knew what she was playing.

"Uhh, yeah. How did you know that?"

"Geez… you never told me you liked video games, Ronalda."

"Yeah, I do. Why do you care?"

"Well… I may or may not have played when I was younger," he said as he walked into the room (without even askibg! Who did this guy think he was?!). "Mind if I watch?"

"Uhh… sure. Just sit on the...floor…"

He plopped down next to her on her bed, and before she knew what had happened, he had already opened one of her orange ice cream pops and taken a bite. He only noticed her incredulous stare after a few seconds, to which he gently put the bar down on its wrapper. She rolled her eyes and turned back to the screen.

Minutes passed as she struggled to beat her opponent. She had tried almost every kick, punch and combo trick in the book, but in the end, America's first president stood victorious.

"Ugh!" she said, throwing down her controller. "This guy is impossible to beat! I've been trying for WEEKS and I still haven't got him!"

Roberto listened to his daughter rant for a few minutes before clearing his throat.

"- _ahem-_ Uhh… do you think that, you know… I could try?"

She stared at her father as if he had just told her Santa wasn't real.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah! I mean, I'll probably lose, but I haven't played this since I was a kid… it's a Katari 500, right?"

"Yeah… do you know the controls?"

"Eh, I'll pick it up eventually," he said as he took the controller from her hands. "I just need to clear the rust off a little."

He clicked _Start,_ and the city of Diamopolis generated around his character. The father of our country rode in on a white horse and hopped off, assuming a fighting stance.

" _ONE TWO FIGHT!"_

Ronnie Anne had started to play a game on her phone, ready to take over when Roberto was done. There was no way he was going to beat George on his first try; it was impossible unless you knew-

" _VICTORY! PLAYER ONE WINS!"_

Her head shot up in amazement. Morty the Floating Fish Head stood over a battered George Washington, his fists raised in victory. Ronnie Anne turned to her father, this time not with scorn, but amazement.

"H-how did you do that?!"

"Eh, I just used the ultimate power move. You know that one, right?"

"Uhh… uh, yeah! Yeah, totally! Should've thought of that before…"

What the actual hell was the "Ultimate Power Move?!" She had worked for WEEKS trying to beat that stupid powdered wig prick, and then her DAD wins on the first…

Did she just call him _Dad_?

"Uhh… do you want the controller back?"

She looked over. Her father was handing over the controls to her again… as if she was even worthy of playing after that performance.

"No! No, you should play another round. You probably just had beginners luck!"

He chuckled, pulling the controller back to his chest.

"Honey, you're talking to the same man that beat _Super Mario Bros_ 5 hours after it came out. I'm no beginner here."

Wow. Just… wow.

Roberto had just pressed the start button again when Grandpa poked his head in through the door.

"Roberto! What are you doing?! You're supposed to be working!"

"Oh!" he yelped, jumping. "Hector! I was just, uhh, coming upstairs to get you! Uhh…"

"Really? Because it _looks_ like you're playing video games…"

"Uhh… Vito wants to see you!"

Hector evil glare lightened at the mention of his friend.

"Well, why didn't you tell me?! Come on! I have to show you the ropes, anyways!"

"Yeah, heh…" he said as he put the controller down. Ronnie Anne picked it up as he turned back to her.

"Hey, when I'm not busy, we gotta play each other. I bet I could show you some new tricks!"

He turned and walked down the stairs with Hector, leaving Ronnie Anne sitting in her room dumbfounded. At last, she gave a small, toothless smile.

Maybe her father… _Dad,_ was kind of cool after all...


	6. Chapter 6

"No, Dad, you have to put the total amount into the register before the drawer opens. We've been over this three times now!"

"Well, I obviously didn't understand the first three times, now, did I?!" Roberto argued as he stood over the register, scratching his head. He had been going over the ropes with his son for the past hour, and it wasn't helping either of them much.

"-sigh- Dad, haven't you ever used a cash register before?"

"Well, yeah! Just not like this old thing…" he said, pressing the keys and fiddling with the knobs. "I mean, how old IS this piece of junk?"

"Don't ask me, I just work here…"

Roberto sat on the stool behind the counter, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"This is hopeless, hijo. I don't know how to use the register, I can't stack the deliveries… hell, I don't even know how to sign off on the mango guys shipments!"

He put his head into his hands, letting out a groan.

"I don't know how to do anything right…"

Bobby, sensing the disappointment in his dad, kneeled beside him.

"You just need practice, Dad. It took me ages to get the hang of all this… don't think that any of it's easy!"

Roberto looked up, narrowing his eyes in suspicion

"Why do you even care, hijo?"

"Well, I mean, Grandpa DID assign me to help you with-"

"No, not with helping me!" he said, standing up. "I mean, why do you care about ME? I mean, I haven't been here in ages, haven't done anything, and yet you call me 'dad' like nothing has changed! What gives?"

Bobby was alarmed at his fathers change in nature. He usually wasn't this paranoid… he was most always laid back and relaxed.

He took a deep breath and began to talk to Roberto, making sure he didn't say anything that could send him off.

"Listen, I'll call you whatever you want, alright? Roberto, Dad, it doesn't matter to me. What DOES matter, though, is your attitude. What's the problem?"

The fire in Robertos eyes dimmed to a smolder. He sat back down on the stool, and closing his eyes, began a tirade of stress relief.

"The PROBLEM, Bobby, is that I don't know how to do this! The register, the job, the whole dad thing, I'm lost! I've been going around the world for ten years, never worrying about anything like this up until now, and I just don't know if I can keep doing it! I love you and Ronalda, Bobby, I do, but… I don't know how to show it to you two…"

They both sat in silence for a few moments before Bobby began to talk again.

"I don't think you're TOTALLY lost, Dad. You've been trying to form bonds, I think… with the ice cream and the walks and-"

"No, no… I can't buy my way into your life, kid. I don't want to do that. I can buy you as much ice cream and as many corn dogs as you want, but that's not gonna make you love me any more than you do! Ronalda made that clear to me-"

"Ronnie Anne is too tough for her own good, you know that…"

"I DO know that! But…"

He stood up and walked over to the counter, putting his elbows on the smooth linoleum.

"I just feel like I'm doing it wrong… like I'm missing something. I know I can't make you guys love me in a day, not even in weeks or months. I just… I just want a map. T-To figure out how to do this."

He looked away from his son and towards the door, which gave Bobby an opening to jump up and put his elbows next to his.

"You know, Dad, I worry just as much as you do."

"-pfft- Oh, really?" he asked, turning to him with an amused smile. "You worry about taxes and child support?"

"Well, no… but I worry about other things. Like school, work, schoolwork, girls, all of that. It's stressful. I know."

"You're telling me…"

"But you know what you gotta do when you get stressed out?"

He pondered for a minute before opening his mouth again.

"Alright, you got me, kid. What's the secret?"

"Glad you asked," Bobby said, standing up. "All you gotta do is breathe."

Roberto raised an eyebrow at his sons secret.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Absolutely not! Why would I be kidding?"

"I don't know… it just seems so STUPID, you know? Like, you breathe everyday. I'm breathing right now, and I sure as hell don't feel relaxed!"

"Oh, dad…" Bobby chuckled, taking his seat again. "I'm not talking normal breaths. I'm talking DEEP ones. Like, inhale exhale, stuff like that. You get it?"

"No… no, not really, but if you say so…"

Roberto took a deep breath in, sucking air into his chest and exhaling when he couldn't hold any more. He sat there, eyes wide as if he had seen a ghost.

"That…"

"Was awesome, right?"

"That was probably the stupidest thing I've done today..."

Bobbys face fell faster than a safe stuffed with bricks off a cliff.

"But... it helped."

Roberto smiled at his confused son, who had raised both his eyebrows.

"Kid, you're going places. You're a people person, you know that?"

"So I've been told…"

"Well, you were told right," Roberto declsred, standing up. "You have good people skills, hijo. You'd be a good reporter. Or a radio announcer… OR a wrestling analyst! Yeah! Roberto Santiago, Jr, professional wrestling commentator! I can see it in headlines now!"

As Roberto rambled on about his sons people skills, Bobby sat with a beaming grin. No one had ever really told him he was good at… well, ANYTHING. And you know what? It felt… GOOD. As if he could do anything… if it only took one person to motivate you, then nothing was off limits!

"-and a doctor, even! There's nothing you can't do, Bobby! The world is your oyster, kid! And you have big things, MEGA things-"

"Dad?"

"GIGANTIC- oh. What, kid?"

Bobby looked down at his hands, almost as if he was embarrassed to ask what he was asking.

"Why… why are you so confident in me?"

Roberto stood puzzled.

"Well, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know… I've just, well, never really been told all of this. It's kind of weird for you to barely know me and hype me up so much, you know?"

Roberto thought about that for a while. After a minute of thinking, he walked over and sat next to Bobby, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Kid, you're better than me, you know that?"

Bobby looked at his dad as if he had eaten a porcupine quill.

"Don't sat that, Dad. I'm no better than you at-"

"Yes you are, Junior… can I call you that? I feel like that's a good name for ya."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever works…"

"Sweet. Anyways… you've got a better life than I'll ever have. You have a bright future ahead of you. Something I can't say about me or your mother…"

"Mom does good for herself and us, though-"

"And she does a damn good job of that," he said, furrowing his brow. "Your mother works hard for you two because I didn't. That's another reason you're better than me; I never cared. You do. That girl you told me about at lunch the other day, Lori? She's lucky to have you, junior."

"Geez…"

"You're going to college in the fall. Nobody on my side of the family did that. Your mother's side has all the smart people, that's where you get it from…"

"And Ronnie Anne?"

"Uhh…" he said, scratching his head. "Ronalda is more impulsive, I think the word is… that's my side of the family. She goes off emotion instead of intelligence. She's a spitting image of her abuela, my mom…"

"Dad, I know I'm asking a lot of questions right now, but… uhh…"

"Yeah? Spit it out, kid, I don't want you choking on words…"

"What did you want to be? You know, growing up?"

The elder Santiago put his head down, smirking. He gave off the feeling that he didn't want to tell him… but he did.

"I, uh… promise not to tell anyone?"

"Promise. What is it?"

"I… wanted to work in a funeral home," he said, rubbing his shoulder in embarrassment. "I wanted to be a mortician… my grades told me otherwise, though. I went into wrestling, instead… not saying that was a worse choice, but it certainly wasn't the safest. I enjoyed wrestling, but it wasn't really right for me, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that…" Bobby said as he stood up and walked over to the register. "I've had 12 jobs and I don't feel like I'm good at any of them…"

"Kid, you're 18. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know. Your calling isn't gonna jump out and bite you in the ass. You gotta find it in the dirt and mud. What's your major in college gonna be?"

"Uhh… I'm undecided."

"Hey, that's fine," Roberto said, raising his hands in the air as if to surrender. "You just haven't figured it all out yet. You will."

"How do you know that?"

"...Gee, you're full of questions, huh?" he asked, walking to his son. "… I know because you're my son. And I think, no, I KNOW, that you can do whatever you want with your life. And whatever it is, your mother, Ronalda and I will be proud of you."

Bobby smiled, and opening his arms, embraced his father. They let go after a second as the doorbell rang, a customer walking in.

"Alright, Dad, you think you can handle this one? I have to go take inventory…"

"No problem, Junior," Roberto said as he sat down at the register. "I'll figure this thing out sooner than later…"

He was still trying to figure it out by the time Bobby turned the corner and got out of his sight. And to himself, he smiled.

So THAT was what having a dad was like...


	7. Chapter 7

Sundays were usually the slowest day of the week for the Casagrande Bodega, but this was no ordinary weekend in the small street of Great Lakes City. It was the annual neighborhood block party, one of the great highlights of the summer… except for Hector.

"Damn it!" the old man said under his breath as he looked out the window of his store. "Not a single customer today! That ridiculous party out there is driving off buisness!"

True enough, the block party did have the habit of driving off potential customers. After all, why go to the grocery store when you could have luxurious foods like deep fried butter on a stick? (Yes, that's an actual thing.) All jokes aside, this was usually the worst weekend of the year for the bodega. And this year especially, they could NOT afford it.

"Morning, Hector," Roberto said as he walked into the store. "Beautiful day, isn't it?"

"Yeah, sure…" he mumbled, before glaring to his son in laws hand. "What's that?"

"What?!" he asked, quickly placing his hand away from Hectors sights. "Uhh, nothing! Just, uhh, a little trinket I found, uhh…"

It was too late to lie. Hector had already made his way over to him and had grabbed his hand, pulling it towards him and grabbing the contents

"Deep fried butter on a stick?! Roberto, you know-"

"I know, I know! We aren't supposed to enjoy the block party, but look at it! The thing is HUGE!"

He gestured both hands towards the bodega windows. Sure enough, it WAS huge… the party was more like a fair than anything. It spanned 3 whole blocks and had a lot of rides spread throughout.

"I know, Roberto, I know! That's exactly why you can't enjoy it! We lose buisness!"

"Hector, I know as well as you do buisness has been down. This fair isn't changing that-"

"Really? Then explain to me why we haven't had a single customer today, huh?"

"Uhh… maybe because you didn't turn the sign?"

Hector looked towards the door dumbfounded. Sure enough, the sign hadn't been turned. He walked over and turned the sign, a look of frustration and tiredness on his face.

"Jesus Christ… Roberto, man the register. I need to lie down for a few hours."

"Sure thing, Pops!" he said as the old man walked out the door towards the staircase. He walked over and stationed himself at his usual spot, making sure that everything was in place.

To be honest, Roberto enjoyed working at the bodega again. He had a job here when he first married Maria, but that went away when they moved to Royal Woods… now that he was back in their lives, he remembered how much he had ENJOYED it. A store job was perfect: easy labor, easy math, and 10 dollars an hour! That came out to about a 400 dollar paycheck, and with rent 200 a month, he was set!

Well… not entirely. His apartment was cheap, yes, but it wasn't 5 star worthy… truth be told, it was barely half of one. And it wasn't exactly on the best side of town, either… usually he fell asleep to the sound of police sirens or that STUPID junky couple above him doing, well… you get the picture. The point was, it wasn't ideal like his wife and kids situation was.

Did that make him jealous? Sure, it did! Why even lie about it? But he wasn't gonna ask for favors anymore… no, he was on his own! Those guys had the Casagrandes to care for them! The kids had their aunt and uncle, their grandparents… their mother…

Maria…

"DAD!"

"AHH" He yelped, jumping in fright. Bobby stood towering above him, hands crossed.

"I've been trying to get your attention for half a minute now! You can't daydream on the job, dad!"

"I know, hijo, I know…" he said, rubbing his head. "I just have a lot on my mind nowadays…"

"Yeah? Well, I do too; that fair is gonna be the death of us! Not a single customer today, and the open sign is flipped! Believe me, I checked!"

"Kid, it's obviously gonna be a slow day! People are having fun! They ain't gonna stop in here to get a soda and chips!"

"Well, grandpa says we need to get buisness today or we don't get paid… so what can we do?"

"Oh, my God…" Roberto thought to himself as he pondered with his son. What COULD they do?

"Maybe we could put up a sign?"

"No, too forgettable… flyers?"

"No, too many…"

"C'mon, dad! We have to think outside the box!"

A lightbulb went off in Robertos head. With a grin, he grabbed his son by the shoulders and shook him around like a ragdoll.

"Bobby, that's it! We go OUTSIDE and sell!"

Robertos son looked at him as if he had just told him he was leaving again.

"You're crazy, Dad, you know that?"

"Of course," he said, straightening his apron. "It runs in the Santiago family. Anyway, we gotta get a table set up!"

"Dad, there's NO way…" Bobby started, but it was too late. Roberto had already pulled a foldable table out of the back closet and was setting it up in front of the counter.

"Listen, kid! Everything is outside, right? Why can't we be?"

"Uhh, because our job is in here? We can't just go out and-"

"Ahhh, but we can! We'll still be doing our jobs, won't we?"

The look on Bobbys face said it all. Roberto grinned; he knew he had won.

"-sigh- One hour. If we sell nothing, we come back inside."

"Oh, don't worry, hijo, don't worry. We'll be selling a lot more than nothing today…"

 **Later…**

"Oh, boy, 5 bucks and counting. What did I tell you, dad?"

"Don't rush it, Bobby!" Roberto said as he wiped his brow with his apron. Business had been better since they had gone out… well, if you counted 5 dollars as better.

"Face it! We've made nothing all day except for five lousy dollars that YOU gave us to buy soda! There's nobody here that wants to buy from us!"

"Kid, settle down!" Roberto said as a scream came from the swing ride. "We just have to give it a little more effort!"

"A little more- seriously?!"

"Yes, seriously! Bobby, I've worked here for much longer than YOU have, I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing-"

"Obviously not if we've made 5 DOLLARS today!"

"WAIT!"

Roberto had turned his head to the side, which prompted Bobby to do the same. A man was standing besides the BBQ truck, dressed appropriately as a giant pig. A huge line of people were lined up at the stand, waiting to buy brisket or ribs.

A huge smile had spread over Robertos face at this point. Both of the men turned to each other, seeming to know what each was about to say.

"NO."

"Bobby, it's genius!"

"No, it's STUPID!"

"Don't we have that parrot costume somewhere in-"

"No, we do NOT! Dad, it's ninety degrees out! There's no way that you'd dress in that thing!"

Roberto stopped to think about that for a bit. Of course he couldn't wear it, he would sweat off half his weight in ten seconds… BUT…

"Bobby, I hope you're feeling cold today, cause I got a job for you…"

 **10 Minutes Later…**

"...I seriously can't believe I'm wearing this…"

"You look great, champ!" Roberto said to the giant red and yellow parrot that stood in front of their table. "Now, all you gotta do is dance!"

"Do I really have to-"

"Uhh, YES? Do you want that hundred bucks or not?" he asked, grabbing the bodegas radio and turning on 80s Evolution.

"-sigh- You're right… can I at least-"

"DANCE!"

The familiar tune of _Girls Just Wanna Have Fun_ came and on, and with a sigh, Bobby the parrot began to jump around and flail his arms to the music. Roberto couldn't help but chuckle to himself… seeing his son in that parrot costume brought back memories for him…

"Where did we even get this thing, dad? It's gotta be, like, 50 years old!"

"Actually, more around 20. We got it from an old water park that was closing downtown."

Soon enough, the costume was doing its job… sort of. Kids were gathering at the table, sure, but it was more to watch the mascot do his stupid dances than to buy anything.

"Hey, HEY! Hands off the merchandise!" Roberto said to a little kid reaching for a Milky Way. "Don't have the cash, then ya gotta dash!"

"Bobby? Roberto?"

The two turned to see Ronnie Anne standing on the corner, Casey and her friend Sameer flanking her.

"Hey, Nini," Bobby said as his cheeks began to turn red. "We were just, uhh…"

"Hey Ronnie, you didn't tell me you guys hired a new guy…" Casey said as he pointed towards Roberto.

"Yeah… that's kinda weird…"

Roberto straightened up in his seat, not knowing what else to do. If he was gonna be introduced to Ronaldas friends, he wanted to look presentable.

"Oh, him?" she said, pointing towards her father. "That's Roberto… he's my…"

He had just begun to get up and introduce himself when the hammer dropped.

"My grandpas friend. He just got hired."

He opened his mouth in shock, then quickly sat down again. He was pretty sure he mumbled a 'hello' at some point, but he wasn't sure anymore.

"Well, uhh, we gotta run. See you guys!"

"Bye, Niní!" both men said with much different attitudes. Bobby noticed this, and taking a break from his act, walked over and knelt down by his dad.

"You know she's just trying to keep her life the same as always, right?"

"Yeah, whatever…"

"Dad, she's 11! Kids aren't going to react well to change all the time… and as big as this is-"

"Bobby, you don't need to explain," Roberto said, looking to the sidewalk. "Roberta barely knows me, anyways… I get it."

"Dad, she'll come around. Give it some more-"

"BOBBY! ROBERTO!"

The familiar voice of Hector Casagrande rose above the crowd, and both men looked up. He was standing in front of the stand, obviously ticked off.

"What are you two doing?!"

Bobby was the first to explain, stammering as he did.

"Well, uhh, we were just, well, you see-"

"We set up a stand outside!" Roberto chimed in. "We figured-"

"Back inside! Now! We have air conditioning for a reason!"

Yeah, yet it's always at 90 degrees…"

"I HEARD THAT!"

 **Upstairs…**

Maria Santiago had watched everything unfold from her bedroom window: the stand, the dancing, even Ronnie Anne… of course, she didn't know what had happened, but did it really matter?

She fell back onto her bed, exhausted from her day at work. The city hospital was a lot busier than Royal Woods was… of course the pay was better, but it left her TIRED. Like, INSANELY tired. But, on the brightside, it gave her a good reason to sleep when she came home.

Except it wasn't working today. She was thinking back to when she and Bob- ROBERTO, had gotten married. It was a nice summer day down in the Catholic Church by Sullivan streets, across from Mr Catchatari's bar... she still had his wedding ring somewhere in her belongings…

She shook the thought out of her head. Roberto had left her a long time ago! There was no reason to hold on to his stuff!

And yet… there it was.

She sighed, closing her eyes. Of course Roberto had left… but he had given her two beautiful children in the process. And he seemed genuine about coming back to make things right; he actually sounded MOTIVATED for once.

Who knew? Maybe it was all an act of some sort, designed to make her fall for her ex husband again… and the sad thing?

It was working perfectly...


	8. Chapter 8

" _It's gonna take a lot to drag me awaaaay from yooouuu,_

 _There's nothing that hundred men or mooore could ever dooooo,_

 _I bless the raaaains down in Aaaaafricaaaa,_

 _Gonna take some time to do the things we never haaaaad, ooh ooh…"_

As "Africa" played on the portable radio, Carlino "Carl" Casagrande sat on a small stool neat the door of the bodega, patiently waiting for his chance to strike. No victims had walked in yet, but they were sure to arrive soon…

What victims? Girls, of course! What else? Of course, none had come yet, which slightly worried the kid, but if school had taught him anything at all, it was to be patient. Women would be lining up eventually to get a piece of this puma!

But for the moment, he was getting desperate… too desperate. As soon as a lady walked in, he made his move.

"Hola, Chiquitaa! I'm sure you're here for a piece of ME, no?"

He hadn't even noticed he was hitting on a lady old enough to be his grandmother… and just to make matters worse, it actually WAS his grandmother. Of course, he didnt notice until she hit him over the head with her bag.

"Carlito! You know better than to flirt with older women! Shame on you, chico!"

"Sorry, grandma!" he cried as she walked out the front door, towards the apartment door. He flopped back into his stool and gazed out the window, putting his chin into his hand.

"Dang it, Carl! You've been in a rut for WEEKS now! There just hasn't been any good looking _chicas_ out there for me to seduce!"

At the counter, Roberto had been cleaning until the boys pathetic attempts at being attractive distracted him. He stared at the boy as he talked to himself for a good while, before finally speaking.

"Something wrong, _niño?_ You look down today…"

"Oh, hey _Tio…_ " Carl said dejectedly. "Its nothing… I've just been having some trouble lately."

"Ahh, I see…" he mumbled as he tried to rub out a stain on the counter. "Does this have anything to do with girls, by any chance?"

"Uhh… actually, yeah!" he said hopefully, before suddenly frowning. "Wait… you were spying on me, weren't you?"

"Heh! Kinda hard NOT to when you're hitting on everybody walking through the door!"

"T-that's exaggerating!"

"Seriously? You were hitting on VITO ten minutes ago, kid! Face it! You got a problem!"

"-sigh- You're right…" he mumbled, hopping off of the stool and pacing towards the counter. "I've been trying to impress girls for WEEKS now and nothing's worked! My enticing vocabulary isn't cutting it, my supermodel physique hasn't worked at ALL, and my natural beauty? It's like I'm scaring them off instead of luring them in!"

"...Kid, do you even know what half of that stuff means?" Roberto asked, crossing his arms as he came out from behind the counter.

"Yes! Well… no, but you get the picture, _Tio_! I'm off of my game and I don't know what to do!"

Roberto did nothing but smile, and he kneeled down to make eye contact with his nephew.

"Well, luckily for you, kid, I've got QUITE a bit of experience with ladies…"

"-pfft! Yeah, right! You've had what, two whole girlfriends in your life?"

"Well… well, yeah... but still, much more than YOU'D ever DREAM of, kid…"

He gently poked his nephew in the chest with his finger, causing him to raise an eyebrow.

"You want to get back into that seductive mindset? Take MY advice. I can get you more women than you'd even BEGIN to imagine!"

Carl kept his eyebrow raised, slowly walking out of Robertos grip.

"Thanks, Roberto, but I don't think so… I don't think I need your help. Maybe someone I've known for more than a month could help instead..."

He was silent for a minute… and then, to Carl's surprise, Roberto began to LAUGH at that. So much, in fact, he was beginning to cry when he spoke next.

"Seriously, kid?!" He cried out, wiping a tear off of his cheek. "Who in this family is gonna help you? Your _papa_ obviously ain't doing you any favors, Bobby's probably lucky to have the girl he has now, CJ is, well, CJ…

He slowed down to compose himself, standing up as he did.

"The point is, kid, I'm your best bet, kid. Take it or leave it."

He held out his hand for the young Casagrande to shake. Carl still wasn't too confident… but what Uncle Roberto had said was true. His dad and Bobby were lucky to have the girls they did, and CJ? He loved him, but…

Slowly and not to certain, he grabbed his uncles hand and shook it. A smile crept across Robertos face as he did.

"Perfect, kid… we start immediately!"

 **10 Minutes Later…**

"Uhhh, _Tio_? Why does that mop have a face?"

"Kid, just call me Uncle Rob, would ya? I barely know any Spanish anymore…"

Roberto finished setting up his display as Carl sat on the bodega counter, looking on with great suspicion.

"Uhhh… okay, then? UNCLE ROB, why does that mop have a face?"

"Great question!" he said, slapping the pieces of rope on the bodegas mop. "THIS, my nephew, is Selena! Your new female target!"

Carl eyed Selena up and down, searching for something to complain about (as all 6 year olds do from time to time...)

"Why is her- IT'S name Selena?"

"Oh, kid… you've got a LOT of Latin music history to learn…" he chuckled. "Selena here is gonna be your test subject until you can actually flirt with a REAL woman!"

"But I do that already!" Carl said, standing up. "I talk to real women!"

"Well, yeah, true…" he admitted before correcting himself. "Selena here is gonna help you SUCCESSFULLY flirt with real women!"

"Oh, my… Uncle Rob, I'm not sure about this…"

"-sigh- Why?" he asked, hitting the strands of rope. "Kid, if you didn't already notice, this thing's a mop. It ain't gonna whap you upside the head like most girls would. I mean, you could literally say ANYTHING to her and she wouldn't react!"

He leaned over and whispered something into the mop before making a happy face.

"See? I just told her she was a piece of sh-err, crap, and nothing! Now your turn!"

Carl looked scared at first, but slowly he made his way off the stool and towards Selena.

"Alright, kid, give it your all! I believe in you!"

"Uhh…" he stuttered before gaining confidence. " _Hola,_ baby girl! You're looking hotter than… uhh…"

 **HOOOOOOOONK!**

Carl fell onto his back and clutched his ears tightly. Roberto stood over him, an airhorn in hand.

"EHHH! WRONG! Kid, you gotta stay off pickup lines!"

"U-UNCLE ROB?! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Uhh, helping you?" he stated matter of factly. "Carl, I gotta help you improve on the good and eliminate the bad! Pain is the easiest way to do that!"

Carl grumbled something that probably wouldn't make it past television censors and turned back to the mop, ready to try again…

 **3 Hours Later…**

And again… and again…

"Oh, boy… _Hola,_ woman… you look extremely-"

The airhorn went off again, but Carl ignored it. He had heard it so much in the past few hours he was immune to its noise.

"-good today. Do you want to go and… and…"

He collapsed into a snoring fit on the bodega floor, exhausted. Roberto, seeing the end, put his airhorn down on the counter and smiled.

"Perfect…"

Gently, he scooped up the young Casagrande and carried him outside, past the corner and to the apartment door. A few minutes later, Carl was peacefully resting in his own bed.

Roberto slowly exited the room and went to the living room, where Hector was watching a _Dream Boat_ rerun.

"It's done, Hector. That boy won't be in the bodega for a good week or two."

"Oh, thank God!" the old man said, leaning back. "That boy has been scaring off every girl that comes in! How did you do it, kid?"

Roberto paused for a moment, trying to figure out the best way how to tell him he worked him out into submission.

"...Selena."

"...Selena?"

"Selena. Don't ask, just go with it."

After a second, Hector shrugged his shoulders and turned back to the show. Roberto joined him, nor noticing Maria walk in and sit next to him on the couch.

"Hola, papa. Hi, Roberto."

"Oh, hey Maria," he said plainly as he stayed glued to the TV. "How was work?"

"Good, good… I only had 20 ER patients today. A record low… you?"

"Ehh, I had to airhorn your nephew a few dozen times, but other than that, good…"

"That's good…"

Roberto couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable with the exchange. Maria hadn't been as concerned with how he was since they were married…

"Sooo…"

"So what?" He asked with a hint of worry.

"So I, umm… I got these reservations to dinner at a restaurant across town and I need someone to go with. Would you, umm… be interested? It's two weeks from this Saturday..."

THERE it was. The date invite. He KNEW it was coming, so how did it still catch him off guard?!

He was going to say no, of course… no way could he go on a date with his ex wife! What kind of example does THAT set?

But… but the way she asked. It was so… _enticing._ And not to mention she had moved her hand suspiciously close to his crotch...

"Yeah, sure. I'm not doing anything then…"

Maria smiled… smirked, actually.

"Ok, then. Mark your calender down, big guy."

"Oh, I will…"

They sat in silence for the rest of the show, each of then trying not to show their true feelings to the other…

 **And that ends this chapter. I know it ended kind of abruptly, but hey, it's what I do. This is the first chapter in a mini series featuring Roberto and the Casagrande family, leading up to the main story again. There will be some serious ones, and some not so serious ones. This was the latter.**

 **Anyways, I have some great ideas for future fics. I'm thinking of doing the 1000th M rated TLH story special soon, as we're getting close to 1K lemon filled, gore drenched, loudcest orgy fanfics on this site. Fun stuff, indeed… I'm also thinking about a Stella × Girl Jordan fluff, which unfortunately wouldn't happen anytime soon unless I get a spark of mad genius. Don't worry, though: it WILL be** **happening. I just don't know when.**

 **Another quick note for all yinz readers (don't mind the 'Yinz,' it's a PA dialouge) : I want you guys to check out "Love, Prejudice and the Law" by FenrirOfTheSith. I'm not so popular as to make shoutouts yet, but the story is really, REALLY good. It's about Luna getting pregnant, so if that ain't your thing, oh well… but it deals with serious topics and it's got a great OC. Give him some love in the reviews and tell him SizzlR sent you, alright? Thanks for reading, and I'll catch yinz on the flip side.**


	9. Chapter 9

If there was anything, ANYTHING that Roberto remembered about the bodega, it was that he HATED cleaning the place. For starters, it was only worth an extra dollar an hour. Two, there was dust "everywhere" that just HAD to be swept up, no matter how little there actually was. And three, the most important part, was that "cleaning" was Hector's fancy way of saying "I'm too lazy to work today, so you come in and do everything I'm supposed to do while I sit and eat potato chips upstairs." God, how he hated that man sometimes...

He should have gone up there and given him a piece of his mind when he called! But, because he was SUCH a nice guy, he didn't. And so there he was, on what was supposed to be an off day for him, sweeping the floor and trying his hardest not to die. Good going, Roberto. God freaking-

"Hey Uncle Robby, you wanna play pirates?"

Roberto turned around to see his nephew standing in the doorway, wearing a black eye patch and holding a plastic sword. He raised an eyebrow at him, then turned and kept sweeping.

"Sorry, CJ," he said carelessly as he awkwardly avoided eye contact. "I gotta work right now."

One would think that would be enough to drive anyone away, but CJ was not backing down.

"Are you sure? It will be fun!"

Oh, boy… what does "Sorry, CJ" mean? To be honest, this kid was an id- err… interesting. Nothing wrong with that, though; it just meant that he could be a handful from time to time. Don't get him wrong, Roberto loved the kid, but...

"Yeah, sorry, _buddy,"_ he said, trying not to make him sound like he wanted to strangle him. "Why don't you go upstairs? I'm sure someone will play with you there!"

CJ's smile disappeared, replaced by a sad smirk.

"I already asked. Bobby is talking to his girlfriend and Carl is doing something else. Please?"

Roberto sighed. This was JUST the day he imagined for himself…

"Look, CJ, I don't know what you want me to do. I HAVE to work right now. Why can't you just play with yourself or something? Go find your mom, have her read a story to you or something…"

Roberto turned and was just about to stack some soup cans when CJ spoke again.

"How dumb do you think I am, Uncle Robby?"

His face scrunched up in confusion as he turned back to his nephew.

"What?"

"I'm not dumb! I know how to read and write!" he said with a look of cross anger. "I may be different, but I'm not an idiot!"

"Well, I was just…"

CJ sighed, holding his hand out.

"It's fine. Most people act that way around me. I know I have, uhh… Down Syndrome, yeah… but that's nothing to me. I know what's going on and stuff. I hate it when people think I can't do things cause I look like I can't."

Roberto stared at CJ, his eyes wide. He had never known anyone with Down Syndrome before, but he always had the assumption that they were either retarded or not bright at all. Yet this kid, his nephew, was obviously neither of those things.

"Well geez… sorry, CJ," he said, rubbing his shoulder sheepishly. "I didn't know that."

"You're fine," he said, walking over to the coolers and grabbing a drink. "Most people have those sterao… stayraeo… uhhh…"

"Stereotypes?"

"Yeah, that!" He said, putting an orange juice on the counter. "Can you get this for me, please? But yeah, people always think I'm dumb. I'm not."

"Well, to be fair, bud, I've never known anyone with it except you," he said as he rung up the orange juice. "I just assumed-"

"Assuming isn't good. But if you keep an open mind, then you don't need to assume anything."

"Dang…" he muttered, astonished. "You never seem to be this way around your family, CJ…"

CJ smiled mischievously at the comment, looking down at his drink.

"Well… I don't think they know, either."

"Wait, what?"

"Yep! I don't usually like acting smart around people…"

Roberto raised his eyes, obviously surprised by this revelation.

"Well, CJ, if you're so smart and all, then why don't you tell them? They'd be able to help you out a lot more!"

To his surprise, CJ smiled again… this one less mischievous and eviler than the last.

"Well, if I tell them that, then who's gonna clean my room? Or tie my shoes for me? Bobby won't do all that if he knows I can do it myself, now, would he?"

Robertos eyes widened in shock.

"Jesus, CJ, you're an evil little shit…"

"I know!" he said as he jumped onto the countertop, chuckling. "And I love it! You don't know how easy I have it, Uncle Robby! I never have to do anything that I don't want to!"

Roberto was less angry at CJ for keeping his secret that he was impressed that he had kept it for so long.

"I have obviously underestimated you, CJ. I'm sorry."

"You're fine… but can we play pirates, now?"

"...What? Still?"

"Yeah! I love playing pirates!"

"Uhhh…" he said, looking for words. "Aren't you supposed to be smart though? Like, not play kids games?"

"Oh, Uncle Robby… I'm ALWAYS up for a game of pirates. Let's go!"

 **The Ocean, 1700 Something…**

On the far shores of a small island in the middle of the Bodega Sea, a pirate ship sat, bobbing in rhythm with the waves under it. The _SS Casagrande_ used to be the top ship of the British Royal Navy, but after it's capture, it became the most feared pirate vessel on the seven seas!

Onboard, crewmen scampered to and from, working on various tasks. It was no wonder they acted so diligently; Captain CJ was one of the most feared pirates of all history. Legend has it that if you so much as tripped over your own feet, he would throw you overboard in a chest as big as a Great Dane! They might be big, but try thinking that when you're crammed into one...

Speak of the devil, and you shall receive. Captain CJ came out and walked the deck, hands behind his back. The crew immediately stood at position and saluted the captain.

"Arrrgh, me mateys! Has the treasure been found yet?!"

"Negative, captain," a crew member said, refusing eye contact. "The treasure has yet to be located!"

"Ugh, seriously? It's been what, three days on this island? I could literally walk around it in ten minutes!"

"Well, yes captain, but the treasure is said to be well buried. It might be a while before we discover its location."

"Well, hurry on with it, then!" the captain said as he headed towards the stern of the ship. "Our rations are beginning to rot! You men want your share of rum, don't you?"

A loud cry rose from the crew as the captain stood at the sterns edge. The ocean water glistened as birds chirped to each-

"SQUAWK! Hey, whats happening, Ceeg?"

"-sigh- Nothing, Sergio…"

"Really, looks like you're playing pirates to me!"

"Ok, first of all, we aren't playing," CJ said as he shooed the bird off his shoulder. "Second, why do you care?"

"Oh, I don't… just figured you would want to be warned about that Navy ship over yonder!"

"A Navy WHAT?!" He yelled, turning and looking through his telescope. He scanned the horizon, and sure enough…

"Oh, Neptune… it's the _H.M.S Santiago…_ " he said meekly, admiring the best ship in the Navy's fleet. It was captained by one of the most feared pirate haters of all time, Captain Roberto! Legend had it that any pirate he caught was given a one-way ticket to Davy Jones Locker!

"Well, looks like you're in trouble! SQUAWK!"

With that, the bird casually flew away as CJ raised the battle cry.

"ENEMY SHIP! PREPARE FOR COMBAT!"

The crew scurried to position, and the fight was on. The _Casagrande_ ventured over to the Navy ship. Cannons fired and tore through the hulls of both ships, with gunfire and the smell of gunpowder filling the air. At last, the pirates swung over to the _Santiago_ , swords drawn and ready for violent, bloody combat!

Captain CJ drew his sword as he faced the rival captain, arms prepared for a battle.

"Are you ready to meet your maker, Santiago?!"

"CJ, this shirt is so HOT!" Captain Santiago cried, pulling the frilly shirt's collar away from his neck. "Do I really have to wear it?"

"Uhhh, yes?! That's an official sea captain outfit right there!"

"Well yeah, but I mean it's what, 80 degrees out? Can't I just-"

"No more complaints, scallywag!" he said, inching closer. "Any last words?"

"Yeah," Roberto said, drawing his sword. "Hasta la vista, baby!"

"What? No! That's the Terminator!"

"Oh, really? I thought it was Pirates of the Caribbean…"

"Oh, my god… Care-ih-Bee-an! NOT Care-rib-bee-an! No, you know what? Enjoy that, cause that's the last time you say that, Uncle Robby! YAAAAH!"

The swords clashed, and the two most feared captains in all the world were finally off to combat. They traveled all across the ship, knocking over many rations in the process…

"My soup can tower! Ohh, you're paying for that, ya little-!"

The battles around them ceased as the captains continued to fight. Eventually, they made their way to the front of the ship, where the door to the captains quarters opened.

"CJ?! Roberto?! What in Gods name are you-?!"

"Not now, First Mate Hector!" Roberto yelled, swinging his sword wildly. "We're dueling!"

"Oh, not in my bodega you are not! Clean this up right- aaaand they're gone. Great…"

The battle continued for what seemed like days, even weeks. The captains continued to battle, even as they walked up the stairs towards the poop deck of the ship.

"Surrender, Captain CJ, or I shall have you walk the plank!"

"What? No! You're the Navy, you don't make people walk the plank!"

"I don't? Errr… well, then I'll have ye KEEL HAULED!"

"Again, the Navy doesn't do that…"

"OK, genius, what exactly does the navy do then?!"

"THEY DUEL!"

On the roof of the Casagrnde apartments, Roberto and CJ clashed swords, each oblivious to where they were or what they were even doing at that point. Roberto swung his plastic sword with wild abandon, a goofy grin plastered on his face.

As the two captains continued to fight, two construction workers sat on the air vent, eating their lunch sandwiches.

"Geez, Bill…"

"What, Frank?"

"That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen…"

Bill put his hand to his mouth, surveying the two battling. After a minute, he took a bite out of his sandwich and replied.

"Hmph. So it would seem…"


	10. Chapter 10

In a small, one room apartment on the north side of Great Lakes City, Roberto slept on a small futon in the center. A TV was turned on in the corner, running the nightly news. Roberto always liked that one news guy, Jason… he was the meteorologist. About his age, except slightly better built and much better off.

Outside his window, a gunshot rang out… or a backfiring car. Both of them were viable options. The north side wasn't exactly the most glamorous place to live… with one of the highest crime rates in America, it was no surprise this apartment only cost him 20 bucks a month to rent. A steal, if you asked him.

 _Ring...Ring...Ring…_

Roberto opened his eyes, annoyed with the sound of his cheap wall phone going off in the corner. Damn thing was usually telemarketers trying to sell him random shit… no point in ignoring it, though. For all he knew, it could be the president calling… heh…

He forced himself to his feet and walked over to the phone, forcing out words from his mouth.

"Hello?"

"Uncle Robby? Is that you?"

Roberto held the phone away from his ear in surprise, as if he couldn't believe who it was.

"Carlota?"

"Yeah, it's me!" the girl said on the other end. "I need you to come over! I need your help!"

"Seriously?" he asked, glancing at the time. "It's 4 in the morning!"

"It know, but this is really important! When can you get here?"

"I don't know! Uhhh, how about in half an hour?"

"Sounds great! See you then!"

The phone clicked, and Roberto practically threw it back onto its holder before walking away to get dressed. What in God's name could his niece need right now! The one day a week he gets off of work and he has to go there anyway…

He walked out of his apartment and out into the night, trying to remember which way the subway station was. The air wasn't too warm for a late June… around 60 degrees. Perfect for a late night walk.

He hurriedly walked past small shops and housing complexes, stepping over a few homeless people as he walked. Sounds crazy, but it was no stretch. Not only was there high crime, but the homeless situation was spiraling out of control as well.

"Ayyy, Robby! What's up, man?"

"Nothing much, Jake!" Roberto yelled to the teenager smoking a joint on his apartment step. He was a nice kid; always greeted him when he saw him. He wasn't in a good home situation, though… like pretty much every kid in this city.

Now that he thought about it… his kids were lucky. They had a pretty well off family here in the city to live with, and from what he knew, they went to a good school. He didn't have any say in his kids lives, but it seemed to him their mother was doing just fine with it. But at the same time, there was a feeling of regret in him. Why did he have to take himself out of the narrative?

he thought about all the way down the subway station stairs, as he swiped his card and boarded the train… all he wanted was to be in their lives again. Was that too much to ask?

Sure, he knew he made a mistake leaving Maria and Bobby. But now that he was trying to fix things, it made him feel a little better, at least. It was like he ran away from a fire, then ran directly back in after making it three blocks down the road…

He had to chuckle at that one. He got off the L at the 43rd Street station, walked down the stairs to the road level, and walked down the street at a brisk pace. A few moments later, he walked up the stone steps and buzzed on the door to the Casagrande apartment.

After a couple of minutes passed, Carlota answered the door, giving a small smile as she did.

"Hey, Uncle Robby!"

"Hey, kid…" he mumbled, trying his hardest not to fall down sleeping. "What's up?"

"Nothing much… I just need a little help with something. Come with me."

She turned and walked back up the stairs, Roberto following her up the flights of stairs, down the casagrandes hallway, and to her room. It was a decent sized place, but JESUS, that perfume was intense! It smelled like a mix between rose petals and lollipop shit… if that was even a thing.

"Sit down and take off your shirt."

"Alri... wait, what?" he asked, looking at his niece as if she had smacked him.

"Sit down and take off your shirt! What are you waiting for?"

"Uhh… I mean, I guess..." he stuttered, his face turning red as he peeled off his tank top. He didn't exactly have the best body, but he wasn't COMPLETELY out of shape… his muscles were all there, and his tattoos still looked like they were what they were supposed to resemble, so… yeah, he was fine.

"Hmmm… interesting," Carlota mumbled as she took out a pencil and started writing in her notebook. Roberto sat down, his face turning even redder as his niece continued to take notes on him.

"Ummm, kid? ?hat exactly are you doing?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah!" She siad, putting down her pencil and looking at him. "So I'm taking an anthropology class right now for an extra college credit, ok? I know it sounds like I'm a nerd and stuff, but it's actually-"

"-sigh- Just get on with it, kid…"

"Alright, alright! The basic gist is that I have to write a report on body art. Specifically, tattoos. And I figured, since, well, you're the only guy I know WITH tattoos, that you could be my subject."

Roberto stared at the girl for a solid thirty seconds before slowly looking down at his chest.

"You… want ME… to tell you about my tattoos?"

"That's right!"

"...All of them."

"Yeah!"

"...ALL of them?"

"Well, duh!" she laughed, raising her eyebrows. "What else do you think I would need you for?"

"I-I don't know, an actual emergency?!" he said as his eyes narrowed. "I dragged myself out of bed at four in the morning on a Sunday so you can look at my tattoos?!"

"Yep!" She said, and without missing a beat she pointed to his left arm.

"Tell me about that one. The snake with the dagger coming out of its throat."

"Oh…" he said, staring at it for a second. "That one… I think it was from what, twenty years ago? It was a symbol for my friends that we drew growing up."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah!" he chuckled, his angry mood being replaced with past memories. "I was what, 12? My dad called us the "Sewer Snakes" and the name stuck. The dagger isn't anything important, though. Just a little extra thing added later."

"Fascinating…" she muttered, jotting down the notes. "Now what about this one?"

It went on like this for a solid hour, with Carlota pointing out random tattoos and Roberto telling her what they meant. It was shocking, really… Roberto forget just how MANY he had. Every time he thought they were done, there was always one more to find.

It was while Carlota had him turned around when he had his first real test.

"Alright, this one. The one that has the devil rolling dice."

"Oh, that one?" He asked, looking down at the tattoo just above his naval. "Uhhh…"

"Well?" she asked as Roberto stuttered. "What is it?"

"That was… oh, geez, I don't know… maybe a…"

Carlota crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow as Roberto struggled to think up a good lie.

"Uncle Robby, what is it? A dare you lost? A personal one?"

"They're all personal!" He shot back defensively. "I just… don't feel comfortable telling you what it means."

"Oh? Why not?"

Seriously? Did this kid not get the hint? It was private buisness that she had no reason to-

"-sigh- I got it after I overdosed for the first time."

Silence. Roberto stared shamefully at thd floor as Carlota slowly realized what he had said.

"You… you use drugs?"

"I USED drugs," he corrected, composing himself as he sat up in the chair. "I was 16 and stupid, ok? My friend offered me coke and I took it, and long story short, I barely made it through that night alive. I'm not proud of it and I never will be. You happy now?"

Carlotas mouth hung open as she struggled to come up with words. Finally, she spoke, albeit much more softly than before.

"I'm… sorry," she mumbled. "I didn't know…"

"Don't worry about it, kid," he said reassuringly before pointing at the tatto again. "I got that tattoo right there to show me that you take a chance every time you do stupid shit. You roll the dice against the devil every time. It ain't worth it."

It took a moment, but Carlota looked up and sheepishly grinned.

"Well… it might be a little late for that."

"...What do you mean?" Roberto asked, his eyes raising in anticipation.

"Uhhh… I may or may not have smoked weed with Bobby a few times… just a few, though. My mom would kill me if I told her, but-"

"Kid, kid," he said, raising his hand. "Don't worry about it."

"Really?"

"Yeah!" He said, smiling. "Weed ain't THAT bad of a drug. I think the first time I smoked it was when I was… twelve, I think? It helped calm me down after school and stuff."

"Wow…" She said, placing her head in her hand. So much stuff she didn't know about her uncle… and out of nowhere he was telling it to her.

"...So yeah, stick with weed. I won't tell a soul, kid. Promise."

"Thanks, Uncle Robby," She said, leaning over and giving him a quick hug. "You're not nearly as bad as Ronnie Anne makes you out to be."

"Yeah, I know that much…" He said, chuckling. "I don't know what I gotta do to get her to like me… and kid?"

"Yeah?"

It was Roberto this time who looked sheepishly at the floor. Finally, after what seemed like hours, he spoke again.

"I… never really told anyone about my, you know, before. Not my mom, or dad, or your aunt Maria."

Seeing the shocked look on her face, he continued.

"So… can you keep that to yourself for a while? I don't really want Bobby and Ronalda knowing about that stuff yet."

"...Yeah. I think I can do that."

Roberto smiled, and Carlota smiled back. And as fast as he had come over, Roberto walked back down the flight of stairs, back out of the apartment, and back onto the subway heading northbound. It was 6:30 A.M.

He hopped off at his stop and walked back up the stairs to street level. He walked past the same shops, same housing complexes, and same cars as before.

"Yo, where'd you go, Robby?"

"Oh, just to my kids house," he told Jake as the teen sat in his usual spot. "I had a… family issue."

"I see… you wanna joint, man? I got a whole lot more stuff growing out back…"

Roberto hesitated, but only for a moment before taking the joint from the kid.

"Thanks, man."

"No problem, Berto. Anytime…"

Roberto kept walking, taking puffs and smiling all the way back… at that point, life was good. A nice change of pace, indeed...

Life was good...


End file.
